Retirement

You know the term “bittersweet?” I never fully lived that word till now. Bittersweet is kind of awful…but wonderful. It’s being SO excited and full of joy at the possibilities and also so very sad you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself.

No, I’m not retiring. ;) My husband is though, after 30+ years of teaching music, and 31 of those years at one school.

Can you even imagine? No one stays at one place for 31 years anymore.

He is the director of bands at his school and has overseen the whole performing arts department (one of the best, if not the best in the country…and I’m not just saying that) for years now.

I was in the band (color guard – the furthest I got on an instrument was playing the recorder…horribly) and fell in LOVE with the whole activity. So all these years I’ve understood his passion for what he does. At least a little bit. Enough be an understanding band wife all these years. If you are one youknowwhatI’msayin.

So while I’m THRILLED to have my husband all to us, our family, for really the first time ever, I’m also so unbelievably sad. It’s hard to put into words.

I’ve lived this world for the past 21 years and my stepdaughter and son grew up in it:

To be a band wife and a.) stay married and b.) make sure your kids see Daddy, you go to a LOT of events. Practices, school functions, football games, band competitions. Every season too – practices in the summer, competitions in the fall, shows in the winter and concerts in the spring.

My son grew up at the high school:

And I got the honor of sticking around my alma mater for another 20 years. I loved high school, I’m proud of that school and I was thinking the other day – how cool that I’ve been able to still walk those halls every month? Keep up with the changes, the staff, build more memories?

UGH. Months ago my husband told me this may be harder on me than him, and he was right at the time. Now it’s hitting him like a ton of bricks, so now we’re both just a MESS. :)

I don’t talk about my husband much on the blog but he is my EVERYTHING. I am the proudest wife on the planet. I have never met a man who works harder, is more successful, but is also the humblest man you’ll ever know. It’s NEVER about him. Always, always, always about the kids.

I’ve been going through hundreds of pictures in preparation for his big bash we’re throwing this weekend, and I hope you bear with me as I share a few and brag on him a little. These pics show so many of the things I love about him.

His unadulterated JOY of conducting:

He is so animated, so obviously in love with being in front of those kids, making music. It all shows when he’s on the podium. It is the definition of passion, watching that. Who gets to do what they are passionate about for 30 years? He is so thankful.

My man is a complicated one – he speaks in front of thousands like it’s nothing. He is a fantastic speaker and usually brings me to tears when he does. But he would so much rather be out of the spotlight, just doing his thing. He’s an odd mix of outgoing and introverted.

This photo so struck me as him in so many ways:

I know he looks upset there, but he’s not. He’s thinking. Contemplating. How to make the kids better. How to teach them more. How to help them succeed. It’s not about winning for him, it’s about life lessons.

I love that photo.

But this is the husband I see most often:

Happy to do what he does. Changing the lives of his students. Always trying to make someone laugh when they least think they will.

Those moments when the attention is on him he hates it…but he is always, always so grateful:

He never takes the credit, and will give it to someone else EVERY time.

But most of all (and now I’m crying, dangit!!!), he is all about his students. I’ve always called them his “kids,” not his students, because they are each his own in a little way. Thousands of them!

This photo was from the last concert in front of his band, and he’s holding up his hand so everyone acknowledges those kids:

Now I need to wrap this up cause I can’t even handle it. :)

Retirement for my husband won’t mean golfing every day – he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He’s owned his own business for 20 years now (writing music and other stuff) and he will continue to do that. He’s also working with two organizations very close to his heart and he is SO excited.

But so sad. See? Bittersweet, the toughest word of them all.

My Clutter Nemesis

Well, the hubby started back to school last week. And the Bub starts again next week. This year it’s Pre-K and he will be gone more than ever.

I don’t know if I should cry or do a happy dance. I’m so confused.

Next year he goes to all day kindergarten and I’m quite sure they will have to pry him from my white knuckles. ;) I am already dreading it.

But it’s back to school time! I’m supposed to be happy, right?

Yay.

:)

Anyhoo, every change of seasons brings up some major organizing mojo in me. After Christmas I’m ready for a clean slate, in the spring I’m cleaning like mad (OK, not really, but I feel like I should), summer I’m a slug, and then in the fall, I’m determined to get our lives back in order before the holiday madness hits.

Back to school always bring this up too. This year I’m determined to conquer one of my biggest and baddest clutter spots. I’ve told you about the piles. And the laundry room. I’ve hinted at the disaster that is the master closet.

But this one is waaaay up there at the top. I mean bottom. Wherever the biggest catastrophes go. ;)

It’s the car. I just can’t keep it under control. It’s like, physically impossible. For real. But this year, I want to at least try. Trying is something right?

There’s one thing I notice each morning when I drop off the Bub at school. It’s that every Mom seems to be a size two.

Wait, that’s not it. (But seriously, how??)

It’s that my car seems to be the worst of them – not one is as messy as mine. It makes no sense. Actually, it does, cause they go to the gym after drop off and I go to Goodwill. And then fill my car with crap. But whatever. Details schmetails.

Well, I’m done – I’m going to make a REAL effort this year. For at least a week. ;)

I started yesterday by pulling the car out of the garage so I’d have plenty of space. I then pulled EVERYTHING out and dumped it behind the car:

Yes, all of that was in my car. No, it’s not a big car. And this does not include the trash -- I spared you that. You’re welcome. :)

I had a meeting last night so I dumped everything behind the car on purpose – I had to get it all put away before I left, or I wasn’t going anywhere. Brillz, yes?

Let’s see what was in my car, shall we?:

Randomness. My specialty.

I took out every last bit of bits. Emptied consoles and drawers and nooks.

About half I put away. The other half is in the garage (my next project) and the laundry room. Moving piles around is my other specialty. ;) But it’s OUT of my car!

I took the car seat cover off and washed it, then hosed down the seat.

Yes, hosed. This might clue you in to why there are no before pictures.

The only things I put back in were the car seat and the car manual:

And a state map. Cause I’ll need that. You never know.

Back in high school and college, when things weren’t so good financially, I would scrounge up change and take the car (mom’s or later mine) to the car wash. Cleaning it out and and using their awesomesauce vacuums would always completely change my mindset. I felt so in control of life when my car was clean.

So now, even though we have a shop vac at home, I always go to the car wash to vacuum out the car:

It’s just one of those weird things, you know?

I talk about how amazing it is to rid your home of the stuff you don’t use or need or appreciate. It will make you feel control over your home and your life – there’s something really powerful about it.

It’s the same for the car, in my opinion. Some of us spend a LOT of time in the car – and when it’s clutter-free, it’s a much more peaceful place.

I need to take my own advice more often. ;)

The only things left in the back are items I need to return and our outdoor blanket I always keep in there, just in case.

I’m determined to keep the car spotless for a week. If I can do it a week, I can do it two. If two, well, I’m going for a MONTH. Shooting for the stars people!! WHOO!

So far so good. It’s only been a day. You have no idea what a big deal that is. ;)

I’m on a mission –  if I can’t be a size two, I can at least have the cleanest car in the school parking lot! Yesssss…

Do you keep your car clean, or is a problem area for you too? Have you tried and tried to keep it clean like me? Any success stories? I’d love to hear!