You Want Boring?!!!

You didn't want to be at my house today.  You really didn't.

It started out fine.  Swimming lessons.  Cool.

Afterwards, a request for ice cream at McDonald's, because they currently have ice cream cones for 50 cents.  But once we got up to the order window the kids also clamored for something on the one dollar menu.  "Please!  It's only a dollar!  I'm so hungry!"  The problem is that those dollars add up really quickly when I have 40,000 children in the car.  So I was a tad annoyed at myself for giving in.

On to home, where I pick up the phone to call my sister.  About midway through the first minute one of my children (I will protect the not-so-innocent) comes into the family room with a horrified look on his face.  You know the look.  The one that says something bad just happened. 

"What?!"  I ask, afraid of the answer.  He is speechless.  But I notice hot pink paint running down his hand. 

"What happened!?"

No answer.  "I gotta go!" I shout into the phone.

Mr. Speechless continues to look at me with dread.  The other 40,000 children call me to the entryway stairs--the stairs that are covered with what every mother-of-many dreads--white carpet.  White carpet which is now hot pink in a large area.  Apparently Mr. Speechless decided to take out the inside thingee of a hot pink highlighter.  His brother (who is not speechless at all) informs me that he had just told Mr. Speechless this wasn't a good idea.  Twice. Just before Mr. Speechless dropped it on the carpet. 

I did tell you this carpet was white.  Yes? 

And then Mr. Speechless tried to clean it up.  Not a good idea.

I ranted.  A bit.  Amazingly, I was able to cut out all the marker.  Yes cut--carefully cutting off the top part of each strand of 40,000 pieces of carpet. 

My husband never has to know about this little incident.  Right?  Erased.  Accidents happen.

BUT (you just knew this story had more to it, yes?) literally an hour later I go up those very same stairs (which are white, in case you forgot) and they are wet.  Wet and yellow.  And they smell like ramen.  With a towel kind of thrown over it.  REALLY???

I will spare you the horrid details.  But someone (a different child) spilled ramen noodles on the stairs. 

The white stairs.  And ramen noodles are not allowed upstairs.  In fact, food is not even supposed to go upstairs. 

I ranted.  More than a bit.  I had someone cleaning the stairs forever and then I cleaned (white) stairs for the second time in an hour. 

They are still yellow.  And as a bonus, they smell like chicken flavored Top Ramen!  Yum!

I ranted more.

Finally, I decided we should go do something fun.  Get away from those yellow, chicken flavored stairs.  We would go to the happy hour at the local taco joint where Baha Blast Freezes are only one dollar! 

I tell the kids.  They love the Baha Blast idea.  But one immediately asks if they can also get some of those yummy cinnamon ball things too.  Let's just say I was irritated with the request (this means I bit someone's head off about being greedy).  And then I suggested we take the freezes to the sprinkler park for some fun.

Some kids thought this was a great idea (meaning one).  But the others thought that sounded boring.  Really?  BORING??!!!!  It's boring to go to a sprinkler park where there is also a huge playground and basketball court.  REALLY???

And here is where I lost it. 

Do you know what BORING is??  Boring is cleaning the garage all . day . long!  And sorting out doo-hickeys and soccer cleats and spider webs!  You want boring!  Boring is sorting socks and used school supplies and sorting crayons BY SIZE AND COLOR.  Boring is scrubbing soap scum off shower tile with a toothbrush!  YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!!!  And scrubbing white carpet from morning til night.  You want boring???  I will show you boring!  (deep breath) And while we are at it, I will show you what it is like to go days and weeks and months without a single taste of Baha Blast or Blast of Baha or any other concoction because you always want more!  More!  You all might just go the rest of your whole lives without another Baha anything!  (long deep breath).

(A real box of crayons in my house--apparently one child does not think sorting crayons is boring)

 



And then I stopped.  Apparently a little taken aback with my own rant. 

And Mr. Speechless looked at me with the sweetest little face and said,  "I think the sprinkler park sounds really fun!  We should go!"   Followed by 40,000 others who chime in that the sprinkler park sounds REALLY fun! 

And so we went.

And it was fun.

Mei Mei's picture of Mommy (left) and Daddy (right)

And I am guessing I won't hear another "boring" comment or request for "more" for at least a day.

But please tell me, how many days of summer left???