Be Still

I am sorry to say my peace has been replaced with stress.  Sometimes my faith is so small.  And honestly, at this point, I can't decipher what's stress and what's the emotion of deep sadness over my father's devastating illness. 

It's all so intermingled.  Sometimes I feel too weary to even pray more than just a desperate plea.  And I find myself wondering if my faith in prayer is lessened because of the loss of our son?  Do I still trust that God will answer my prayers to miraculously heal my father?  Should I stick to "safer" and "smaller" prayers?  Do I simply stick with, "Thy will be done." 

My dear friend Barbara sent this in a card today.  The timing is perfect. It comes from Jason Jackson.

Be Still and Know I am God

"So as your world crumbles around you, the call from Scripture is: don't flinch in your faith in God.  Stand still--not because of a self-made confidence, not because you are the most composed person in the face of disaster, not because "you've seen it all."  Be still because of what you know about God.  It is God's past that provides calm for our future . . . He is your God.  He is the ruler of kingdoms of this earth and the all-powerful Creator of the Universe.  If you are the last man or woman standing, be still."

I have much to accomplish this weekend, but first and foremost is to find a way to BE STILL.  To pray the big prayers while trusting that God WILL answer--even if it's not be the answer I might be praying for.  I will be still and know that HE is God--not me.  I will be still, and put my trust in HIM.